So, here it is. I am living square in the middle of God's grace because He has effectively evicted me from the cozy little comfort-zone-home where I have happily resided all these years. I loathe making phone calls, but have to call everyone under the sun to get going with Early Steps, schedule private therapy, reschedule conflicting doctor appointments, and order more feeding bags. My stomach hurts--I mean clenches with mortal dread-- when I have to put a bandaid on someone, but I have to clean and tend to the hole in my daughter's stomach twice a day. I detest doing math in my head, but I work those ancient brain cells to calculate the amount and rate of each tube feed. I absolutely hate making babies cry, but I have to do tummy time with Aerin to help her neck and trunk muscles get strong (Okay, I admit I cheat on this one. I do tummy time on my chest and let dad do the rest.) And I know that this is just the tip of the iceberg. I don't think I can even fathom what is to come. This is, I suspect, just how God likes it since, otherwise, I'd be heading for the hills in retreat.
I hope that this doesn't sound as much like complaining as it probably is. To be honest, each time I take that tiny leap towards doing something that I swear I can't do, I find that I am amazed at how God gives me just what I need to get through it. It has given the verse "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)" several new layers of meaning for me.
In close, here are some pictures of my sweet thing. She just makes the best faces!