We've been home for a week now and life is marching right along. The days are a blur of pumping, bottle feeding, tube feeding, changing diapers, occupying the big kids and blissful moments of holding and gazing at my sweet girl. I've been reading way more about PWS on the internet than I should and I can't help but feel overwhelmed about the future. The challenges are many and I could easily list the worries that I have which accompany each one, but mostly I wonder how I will ever be able to be the mom she needs and deserves. I think I need to be picked up and thrown (very hard) out of my flesh because its just not doing much for me right now.
Matthew West's song Strong Enough is my anthem right now. It just so darn hard to remember that God didn't put this in my lap and leave me to figure out out on my own. I don't suppose God gave me this because I am strong enough but precisely because I am not. It requires a great deal of discipline for me to remember each time I get scared or depressed or overwhelmed (which is often these days) that its not my job to fix it all, but to trust in Him as He does His work through it. Especially His work in me. He is, after all, strong enough
Strong Enough by Matthew West
You must
You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through
Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own
I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us
Well, maybe
Maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up
Cause when I'm finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up
And reaching out
I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Cause I'm broken
Down to nothing
But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God
and you are strong
When I am weak
I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Oh, yeah
I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Strong enough
You must
You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through
Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own
I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us
Well, maybe
Maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up
Cause when I'm finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up
And reaching out
I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Cause I'm broken
Down to nothing
But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God
and you are strong
When I am weak
I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Oh, yeah
I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Strong enough
Strong Enough is a great song! If you have seen the video, the neat thing abut it is all these people who are having a hard time are related in the end. We're all in it together. So glad that if you are going to go through something like this, you are part of the PWS family. You can do this.
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